If you are afraid of getting your heart broken…
Posted by chrystibella on November 10, 2008
…then you are not ready to become a parent.
In tonight’s episode of Brothers and Sisters, Robert says this to Kitty when she confides that she is so afraid of allowing herself to feel hopeful about an upcoming adoption. She’s been let down before. She cannot bear to have her heart broken again.
If you are afraid of getting your heart broken then you are not ready to be a parent.
No truer words were ever spoken.
I have only been pregnant one time in my life. I sailed through with no complications. I remember every milestone and even had moments that were captured forever in my memories. The first time I felt him kick. Like a flutter of butterflies soft and light. Amazing. My life’s purpose was no longer my own.
Labor was a bitch and so was I. It seemed to go on f o r e v e r!!!! The first time I held him, all was forgotten and all that mattered was this new life with everything to look forward to. This gift, this precious gift from God. That ride home from the hospital, I think we drove 25 mph. LOL!!! Weary of every vehicle around us. Me sitting in the back seat guarding my angel. I wonder how many new parents take that approach on that first trip in the car with a new infant?
All of a sudden I joined the “baby” club. Anywhere I went that there was anybody carrying a baby carrier, we had to stop and exchange stories and compare how many months old they were, were they sleeping through the night, cute stories, etc. I called it the baby club. =)
As parents we are with our children through all of their firsts. We experience their first words, first steps, first friendships, everything. We are first in their eyes too. They cry when we are apart and run to us with delight as soon as we are in sight smothering us with hugs and kisses. Ah, the feel of my son’s heavy head on my shoulder when he was a toddler. So many times I carried him and his sweaty cheek would rest against my neck. His voice, “Mommy!” Oh, how I miss that little child.
There were times that I had to push him in the direction of depending on himself. I had to stop wiping his butt, for example. LOL!!! All of a sudden I recall the days when I’d hear, “Mommy…. come wipe my butt.”
The time flew by so fast. So many things I didn’t get to do. Many things I long for. Things I wish I had done better. I wanted more time.
Time doesn’t stop. He’s approaching 19 now. Grown into his own person and is itching to move out on his own. He’s ready.
This day was bound to happen.
Heartbreaking? Hell YES it’s heartbreaking!
For sometime, I’ve no long been there to experience many of the “firsts”. He confides in others now. His aunt (my sister) gets to be the cool one. Though she has different standards for HER daughter, as she is parent and not friend.
Sometimes I’m lucky to have him tell me stuff that’s going on or about his friends. There is the parent barrier always there though. It hurts. I know it’s normal, but it hurts the same. Sometimes when he confides in me about stuff he and his friends do, it’s stuff I really don’t want to hear. I do want to hear, but I don’t. But I do. As a parent, I can’t always be cool, or his friend.
Our relationship is transitioning.
He’s grown. He does grown up stuff now. The same stuff I did and many people did when they were 19 years old. All I can hope for is that I raised him and taught him enough to be sensible and make good choices. But really, at 19?
At 19 I thought I knew it all. (Technically he won’t be 19 until May so he’s 18 1/2)
In a couple of months he’s moving 3 hours away to live with roommates and attend college. It won’t be as easy (financially) as it has been living at home, but he needs/wants to be on his own. I worry about him smoking pot and doing drugs, drinking and ruining his health. Kids party. It’s a fact of life and right now life is one big party cause this is his first time being free of parental control.
He pretty much knows it all too. I cannot tell him much or give advice because I’m not as smart or worldly as he is. Hopefully by the time he gets older I’ll get smarter and wiser too. =)
I think God created teenagers to help parents get through the transition. Yes, there are many things that I will be happy to not have to deal with. In some ways I am looking forward to my freedom. I can walk around the house naked if I want to. My husband and I will have more time to get to know each other again. Having teens around kind of kills the opportunity for romance.
It’s bittersweet when children grow up. I look at him and feel melancholy often. Feeling the loss of my little boy. Missing the bond between mother and child. I’ll always remember his little husky voice, the cute mannerisms and the feel of him sleeping in my arms. I’ll never stop praying that nothing bad happens to him out there in the world on his own; trusting that he’ll make choices that will get him through college and have a long prosperous and happy life with a family of his own. Hopefully I will be lucky and he’ll marry a woman I like and get along with.
And so today, I think back to that first trip in the car leaving the hospital when he was a newborn infant and how I was so fiercely protective. Heart breaking? You bet it is!
Please God! Keep him safe!
Sphere: Related ContentParents: Nearly half of American teens and pre-teens have tried drugs. If you think that statistic can’t possibly include your child, think again. Learn about the newest drugs that you’ve likely never heard of, but your kids have. TheDoctorsTV.com
