Author Kelly Corrigan wrote this moving essay about women’s remarkable capacity to support each other, to laugh together, and to endure. The full text is available in the paperback edition of her memoir,The Middle Place, on sale December 23, 2008.
This essay reminds me of the friendships that I have developed over the years. Growing up as a military brat, we moved about every 2 years so I was unable to develop longstanding relationships. Though I do have to point out that the bonds of the military families that I grew up with were strong. It was that we had to leave them that was painful and many lost touch with us. I do have a couple of friends from my childhood but not many. It wasn’t until I lived here in the same town for the last 20 years that I have friendships that have lasted as long.
Some people have come and gone in my life. I”ve missed them but for whatever reason our paths took a different direction. Others have stayed as we traveled on our journey. New friends have also emerged and brought with them a refreshing twist as I learned new things and adapted them to my lifestyle. We have raised out kids together and we have gone through empty nest together. Illnesses, births, deaths and so on.
I belong to a group of women friends who get together once a month just to hang out, drink wine, eat fine dishes brought by everyone. We sometimes have a theme, sometimes we just talk but it is always a delight and I leave feeling great and the feeling lingers for a long time. I am so grateful to be included in such fine company.
I was truly touched by the essay because it expresses my feelings in a way I could never have put into words, but it is the way my heart sings when I think of the people in my life who mean so much.
Its in the Bible, Corinthians 13:4-7, TLB but I heard it read in a movie one time and it really struck me.
Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.
This is so true and yet, I know for a fact that I have been guilty of doing it wrong?
Boastful or proud (guilty)
Selfish or rude (guilty)
Demanding my own way (guilty)
Irritable or touchy (double guilty)
Holding grudges (hate to admit it, but I do that sometimes, yes…. guilty)
Hardly even notices when others do it wrong (oh, I notice)
Glad about injustice (if something bad happened to someone I loved, I would not be happy about it.)
Rejoices when truth wins out (I’m happy when that happens)
So basically I’ve been doing it wrong. Yet, there are people in my life who still love me. Wow, I sure am lucky. =)
I’ve been concerned for my dear boy who has it in his head that he must live in a house with no heat (too expensive), with roommates, transferring to a new college and looking for a job and finishing up his semester and final exams here in Sac all at the same time. Mom isn’t around to help out and with the economy and jobs the way they’re going, I can’t do a lot financially either. Boy do I feel hopeless sometimes.
He’s excited to be living the grown up life. Welcome to the real world, kind of living. Yeah it hits like a ton of bricks. So as a mom. I worry. It’s my job.
I didn’t even know if I would see him for Christmas so I’d already sent his gift down to him. Christmas felt like it would be just be another ordinary day, but a day when I would feel depressed because it was Christmas Day!!!
This afternoon I got an unexpected surprise when he called to tell me he was on his way from Mountain View to stop by, visit and pick up a few of his things. YAAAAAAAY! My little heart went flitter flutter. Yeah, I’m sappy. I’ve said so time and time again.
He walked in the door, gave me a big hug and headed for the kitchen. While I was making him a couple of burritos he was inhaling the pickles, apple juice, anything he could grab on to. The boy was HUNGRY!
It kills me to see him struggling but that is part of growing up and moving out on one’s own. I know I went through it. Very few people have wealthy parents who can afford to finance their kids transition into adulthood. In a perfect world, maybe. But in this time when my husband’s job is cutting back their hours from 40 to 20 hours a week. We’re lucky to have a roof over our head and utilities. That’s about all we can afford and food is something we have to stretch.
My son is doing well otherwise, he’s been applying for jobs and has some good prospects. He’s looking for restaurant work. He’s a full time college student and since he lives with a shitload of roomies, rent is cheap. He’s got his first serious girlfriend and he is excited about that. Girlfriends do cost money. He was going to need to get her something nice for Christmas.
Isn’t this a gorgeous?
Newsboy Hat and Scarflette done with Bernat acrylic in Earth and Cozi(chenille like) acrylic in Marbled Taupe as the trim. The Earth color is a dark brown with bumps in creams and golds, Very beautiful and the marbled taupe is a perfect trim, as you will agree. This is simply breath-taking.
Lucky for us, my mom has a nice store on Etsy and she allows us to shop at a HUGE, discount. Basically, she gives us what we would enjoy having. So, tonight my son and I went shopping for his girlfriends Christmas gift. He chose a really nice copper necklace. Then my mom asked me if I wanted to pick something out for myself and I picked out a beautiful Lacy Agate and Copper necklace and a pair of Copper earrings.
I almost picked this:
I had my eye on it for some time. But when I held the other necklace in my hand and looked at the stone, I was in love with it. I wish I had a photo, but she took it down from her store. <sorry
Thank God for Moms!
Since we have been in such a bind Christmas this year has been lean. I’ve put up very little in decorations other than my candles and I do play Christmas music and we’ve been watching Christmas shows and movies so we are not completely void of holiday spirit. We have it in our hearts this year instead of our wallets.
We have enjoyed holiday get togethers with friends. So, we’ve been celebrating. It’s just the big day that I wasn’t looking forward to. Kind of like a build up to a let down.
Last night I was thinking that perhaps by volunteering somewhere is what people do to lift the mood. I didn’t want to have a boring, Christmas day with little or no activity. It’s one thing to watch TV during the holiday but ON THE HOLIDAY I need something more.
I asked my mom what she would think if we volunteered at the VFW to cook Christmas dinner and serve the veterans who have no place to go. I know they do this at our post every Christmas and Thanksgiving and on Thanksgiving they served over 80 dinners. I didn’t know how it would be received but my family WANTS to do this and is looking forward to it. I am JAZZED!!!!! I think I am looking forward to this Christmas more than I have ever in a long time. There will be music, and the smell of baked hams and all the fix-ins. We don’t have to purchase the food, but we get to enjoy cooking it and serving it and visiting with people. It’s going to be fun. I’ve always enjoyed the times that I have cooked dinners or volunteered at other post activities. (I’m a life member of the Ladies Auxiliary) You get lost in the camaraderie and the festivities and the work, it’s not really work at all.
So I called today and volunteered us. It happens that the person who they were depending on is in the hospital and they will need the extra help. My son, who hardly ever goes anywhere with us, is even planning on helping. Hell! I’m excited he was even planning to be home for Christmas! I guess when they move out, our kids actually miss us. =) He’s going to be home for the holidays.
Yes, it’s going to be a very Merry Christmas this year!
I would not have expected that during a time when we are all struggling that I would be anticipating the good times ahead. But I am. More than ever!
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control at times and hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." -- Marilyn Monroe
If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties — someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." -- John F. Kennedy
, on sale December 23, 2008.
